As I have pondered these past few weeks on whether or not to go on and continue with the idea of this blog, I decided today it may be a great start to some new revelations in my life. When I created this blog I really felt it would be a great way to keep me engaged with the Lord in a daily quiet time. I had great ambitions to spend time with him through my second pregnancy and blog about my progress. As most of you might know that pregnancy was short lived and we recently went through our second miscarriage. This is why you never saw a blog post from me ever.I do feel it is appropriate to educate you on our family though, so those of you not sure how to handle talking about the losses with me will understand more fully our situation.
Around 1980ish ( maybe later not sure) Joshua's parents decided to start trying to have children. Little did they know the Lord would take them on an adventure of heartache, joy and a new strength. She had about 4 or 5 miscarriages before getting pregnant with Joshua in 1983. Her pregnancy with Josh went great. He came out normal, no birth defects, and has proved to be a intelligent and successful person! She was delighted in this little gift and had not given up on the prospect of trying for more. After a few more tries and a few more losses they decided to adopt and the Lord blessed them with Joel in 1985. He came just at the right time and really was a blessed addition to their little family. She has had a total of 8 miscarriages...all of them happened before precious Jillian was born. This was the answer to all of their questions I feel like. She was born in 1991. And until she entered the world they didn't know she was going to be special. She is what you call Trisomy 22 or now named Emanuel's Syndrome. You can go here http://www.c22c.org/ to learn more. Through much testing and working with Children's hospital in Philadelphia they found out that Ann has a balanced translocation. Now most of you unless you are Martha Dixon or Josh Brown or any other scientific type may be confused at this point....so I am going to paste some helpful information from http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Handbook_of_Genetic_Counseling/Balanced_Translocation#Introduction_and_Contracting
Balanced Translocations
- In most cases, there is no loss or gain of chromosomal material during the exchange process
- When the lab looked they didn't see any missing or extra pieces of chromosomes and they therefore think that this might be a balanced translocation
What Are the Effects
- Often people will have a balanced translocation and not even know because they don't experience any problems (this occurs in majority of cases of new balanced rearrangements Warburton 1991)
- Sometimes, apparently balanced translocation carriers show some characteristics or symptoms (Warburton showed that frequency of abnormality was 6.1% but confidence interval includes 3% in apparently balanced translocations)
- One explanation for this finding is that the break may have occurred in the middle of a gene that is important in growth or development and the gene no longer provides correct instructions because it is disrupted
- We do not know if this translocation is the explanation for the characteristics and health problems in ______
What can happen in offspring of people with balanced translocation
- If one of the parents carries a balanced translocation, it is possible for a child of theirs to acquire a bit of extra chromosome material or a bit missing
- Either of these would be known as an UNBALANCED translocation
- This extra and or missing pieces of chromosome can unfortunately cause serious mental, physical and medical challenges in the child who inherits them
- Sometimes they cause a miscarriage, but not always
- However, it is also possible for these same parents to have a child with normal chromosomes, or a child with the same balanced rearrangement of their chromosomes as the parent
- Having a balanced translocation of your chromosomes does not mean you cannot have normal healthy children
- Factors that influence risks (not applicable in this case)
- Ascertainment - A family ascertained as a result of a previously affected child is seen to be at increased risk of recurrence since the in balance has been proved viable.
- Risk of having an affected child is lower when a family is ascertained following for example repeated spontaneous miscarriage since in these cases the imbalance is more likely to be inviable
- Each time they have a child, there are several possibilities.
- they may have a child with normal chromosomes
- they may have a child with the same balanced rearrangement of the chromosomes as the parent
- they may have a child with an unbalanced rearrangement of the chromosomes which may cause mental and physical challenges
- the pregnancy may end in a miscarriage
Tests in Pregnancy for Translocation Carriers
- amniocentesis This is usually done from 14 weeks in the pregnancy and the result normally takes about 2 weeks.
- Chorionic villus sampling (CVS) usually done between 10-12 weeks in the pregnancy, and the results take about 2 weeks.
So these are some things that apply to his mom....If you were reading though....which i trust you were ( wink wink) the translocation can be passed which is what josh was blessed with...and thus a possible solution for our miscarriages...nothing has been proven proven but we are pretty sure our babies have had chromosomal abnormalities and that's what caused them to pass on at 6 weeks both times.
Now that the history lesson is over with I can tell you from researching and learning more from Josh on what is going on with us the Lord has really helped me gain an appreciation for his special qualities. Yes, it's painful and it sucks but you know he was made unique in the eyes of the Lord and a chosen one for this genetic makeup so I can only praise the Lord for his life.
On the other hand, it is hard to keep waiting on the Lord. I want so badly to be pregnant again but I know by my doing I will only fail and it will be miserable. Josh is not all the way ready to start trying either. For us pregnancy is waiting to get past 6 weeks and once you do that with no spotting at all then we can maybe smile for a minute but until then it's too risky to get excited. Our hearts keep getting pulled in every which way and you don't know whether to trust the Lord or just wait skeptically because you know your odds already. So though it hurts I am ready to just keep going and get the hurt over with because the sooner the hurt is over with the sooner we are to our goal of a child. All in all I know the best thing for us is to trust God.
I have been listening to some really good songs lately and they are such a reminder of the Lord's relationship with me and how close he really wants to be with me. Kim Walker Smith sings a song called "you are faithful". In the bridge or something it says " from the land of the barren we will cry out for rain fill our hearts God Ill keep trusting you" I feel like we are the barren people and if we ask God for him to provide for us and trust him while we wait he will be faithful to give us our desires. I know we are not alone , God is always with us he will never leave us or forsake us. The book of James says " Count it joy when you encounter adversity" I know for a fact I am closer in my relationship with the Lord because I have had to go through some hardships.
I don't have the power
I don't even have a clue
I don't know all the answers
I don't even know a few
But if I were really honest
And the truth were known of me
It might sound a little funny
But this is what my prayer would be
I don't know what to do
But my eyes are on You
I don't know what to do
But my eyes are on You
I lift my eyes toward the Heavens
Tune my ear to Your command
Help me boast in my condition
You're the God and I'm the man
I don't even have a clue
I don't know all the answers
I don't even know a few
But if I were really honest
And the truth were known of me
It might sound a little funny
But this is what my prayer would be
I don't know what to do
But my eyes are on You
I don't know what to do
But my eyes are on You
I lift my eyes toward the Heavens
Tune my ear to Your command
Help me boast in my condition
You're the God and I'm the man
September 3, 2010 at 6:59 AM
You are a FABULOUS writer!!!!!
September 3, 2010 at 9:27 AM
I love your blog, Jess! Thanks for sharing your vulnerability and brokeness in the Lord. You and Josh are some of the best people I've ever met and there is no doubt in my mind that the Lord has amazing plans for you. 1 Samuel 2:1-11.
Love you!